


Mr. Brightside

by lucydwrites



Category: RuPaul's Drag Race RPF, thorcid
Genre: M/M, Other, mildly angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-23
Updated: 2018-04-23
Packaged: 2019-04-26 20:50:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,509
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14410311
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lucydwrites/pseuds/lucydwrites
Summary: It takes place after Acid returns from a long UK tour and while Thorgy is focused in the making of the Thorchestra."He tried to tone down this feeling and take things slow, but how he would ever do that with Shane? He talked too much and his train of thought had five tracks. He hugs, kisses, fights, fucks, moans like it’s the last day on his earth. The only way with Shane is forward."





	1. Unknown Pleasures

Jamin could still feel the sun burning his skin, like in a reverse phantom member effect, experiencing hot waves while it was freezing outside, the lingering taste of salty water. He painted a lot in Greece and in any surface available until he actually bought some frames. The opposite color pallets; the grays from London, the blue shades of the Greek ocean and the ones inside Shane’s eyes.

Jamin brought him a gift, this napkin where he drew Thorgy’s face in the Queens on wheels challenge of season 8. He just started drawing for distraction on the train, and when he noticed it was already there, big blonde curly hair and infectious smile.

He depended constantly on the faulty camera of his mind. The number of hours traveling added up more than the hours they had spent together, so he printed some pictures on his brain to reassure that it was all real: the way his dreads would always get tangled in something. The freckles on his back. The violin hickeys, yes, the instrument would always leave this purple stains on his neck. His tongue popping out when he was in deep concentration.

Jamin was making breakfast, an attempt of pancakes, strawberry jam topping for him, mustard for Shane. Joy Division was softly playing in the living room even though Shane didn’t mind loud music while he was sleeping.  
He had no shirt on, just his pajama bottom pants, unconsciously dancing to _Disorder_ while scrambling the eggs on the pan.

Suddenly he felt Shane’s arms wrapping him from behind.

“Good morning…”

Shane greeted in a lower scratchy tone, nuzzling his ear on Jamin’s neck sending chills through his spine.

“I swear you still smell like the ocean” Shane muttered sniffing his nape.

“I wish you had your bed voice the whole day” he answered as Shane still remained glued on his back rocking slowly his lips to the song.

“I think one Acid Betty is enough” Shane replied with an even lower tone making an impression of him and biting his earlobe.

“Stop grinding your dick on my ass or I’ll burn this whole thing” he protested feeling a little bit flustered already. He grabbed his arms and with the other hand pulled him closer.

“Okay…okay I’ll let you finish!” Shane gave up, hands on the air and heading to the fridge to grab some juice.

Shane was uncharacteristic dressed, wearing his caramel pants and a white t-shirt. He sat on the counter and drank his glass of juice, staring at Jamin’s back dimples. His skin was deliciously tanned. Horny thoughts were driven away when he became aware of the music that was playing.

“I didn’t know you liked Joy division!” Shane commented recognizing and surprised based on Jamin’s electronic stuff taste.

“Yeah, it was on my playlist the whole trip…It reminds me of my teenage years in London” he replied sounding dreamy and multitasking, searching for plates to put the eggs while Shane observed him quite interested. “I was still a little bit chubby and into this only black and leather phase. Platinum blonde hair. Heavy eyeliner. Imagine that, _no colors me_!”, he added making a panic face and putting the plate on the table avoiding eye contact with Shane that didn’t even blink looking at him.

Shane could see that perfectly actually. “I would be so into you” he raised brows at him in a sensual way and jumped off the counter walking slowly towards him and Jamin was not having it.

“Oh, really?” he questioned in an amused disbelief side eyeing Shane holding his laugh.

“Yeah…I would squeeze all your backrolls!”

And he pretented to bite Jamin’s waist and sat in front of him. Jamin kept shaking his head.

“I’m not kidding!” he protested but Jamin wasn’t convinced.

“You were into anything that moved and seemed slightly human when you were a teenager” he teased and Shane cackled slapping his shoulder.

“Bitch!” he uttered cutting his pancake and Jamin observed him to see his reaction to the food. “This is so good oh my God”, he commented full mouth and Jamin smirked proudly observing his eagerness, he continued eating at the speed of light, “I’m so excited for today! You’ve got to meet this violinist that auditioned yesterday. He is fucking amazing. He’s twenty-three, and he looks like a Julliard brat, but he is a genius. Huge fan of Drag Race, he didn’t even want to get paid and I was like girl, are you real?”

That was the first time Jamin heard of Adam.

He saw Shane’s excitement about the young man, but he didn’t even realize that was a man he was talking about. He didn’t make the connections that this was a gay musician, young, handsome and likely a prodigy. Shane kept rambling about the other auditions but Jamin seemed to have the conversation shut down, he could see Shane’s lips moving but he wasn’t listening.

“I’m sorry…what’s his name again?” Jamin interrupted Shane and he felt like his voice maybe had come out too loud in an echo.

“Who?” Shane asked confused.

“The violinist?”

“Aaaah! Adam! I’m meeting him later at the bar. I wanna make this rehearsal party with the probable assemble of the New York Thorchestra. Do you wanna come?” Shane inquired him with a big smile.

“Ugh, I need to see Becky, you know? Since I’ve arrived you kidnapped me and I need to go home at some point”

“Ah, sure!” Thorgy shrugged.

Behind each “Sure” of Shane there were one hundred nuances and Jamin was trying to categorize all of them. On this one Shane didn’t seem like he cared and kept eating his pancakes with eggs with no further hidden meanings.

“This is gonna be so good!” he opened a smiled again as though an excitement wave hit him again playing with the eggs, his face all scrunched up and Jamin couldn’t help but to respond to his adorable energy. He stood in front of Shane, between his legs while he was still holding his plate but he cupped his face for a kiss anyways.

“You… are…so…good!” he whispered kissing him between every word. “Ugh, but you taste like mustard” he grimaced showing his tongue.

“Eat it, bitch! These lips are haute cuisine!” he giggled squeezing some more of the yellow liquid on his pancakes.

Jamin went to bathroom to brush his teeth while _Love will tear us apart_ was in the middle of its execution. Ian’s melancholy ethereal voice filling the room quietly.

_All my failings exposed_  
_And there’s taste in my mouth_  
_As desperation takes hold_  
_Just that something so good_  
_Just can’t function no more_  
_But love, love will tear us apart again_

*

Adam’s name became a constant thing the following weeks. He seemed to always have the greatest ideas, the best way to arrange a song and constantly available to do anything related to the orchestra. Jamin heard his name in other mornings, in the car and when Shane was talking to him on the phone. Even his voice sounded attractive. _Fuck._

Jamin was aware of the dynamics of his relationship with Shane, it escalated fast and they had to pick up the pace really quick. The vertigo of all things happening was a challenge. They were having the best time of their lives, meeting amazing and loving fans, seeing new places and having this crooked affair aside. It was irrational for countless reasons but it was there, untamed and growing.

The temptations were creeping around it, and when Jamin was with other queens the pressure was even bigger. He started asking for a husband in each city he would go just for them to shut up: basic logic of reverse psychology. But he didn’t want to be with anybody else.

He tried to tone down this feeling and take things slow, but how he would ever do that with Shane? He talked too much and his train of thought had five tracks. He hugs, kisses, fights, fucks, moans like it’s the last day on his earth. The only way with Shane is forward.

He wanted to say all these things while having a coffee with Bob in a cafeteria next to his apartment. He was in town to meet Thorgy so they would start making drafts for a number in the Thorchestra rehearsal party. Jamin rolled intensely his eyes when Adam’s name came up again while Bob was talking. His friend noticed immediately.

“You’re jealous of Adam”, Bob just bluntly spoke and Jamin scoffed. “Girl, if you roll your eyes again that hard they will drop on your coffee”

Jamin shifted on his seat impatiently and forced a smile.

“I am not jealous”, he promptly answered and yet sounding too serious, “I just hear a lot about this guy because Thorgy won’t shut up about how amazing he is…”

“Well, he is” Bob added teasing his friend.

“Thanks, Bob” Jamin pierced his eyes and Bob chuckled one of his typical smoking grandma giggles.

“Oh Elizabeth, I’m just fucking with you, don’t you worry. Thorgy is still very much in love with you.”

Jamin felt strangely weird listening the actual words coming out from someone’s mouth, since they never spoke them to each other. After the off balance initial impact, it felt right, as if a missing piece of a puzzle fit and the whole picture came alive.

“But Adam is not kidding. The whole master and protégé scenario is set so you wanna be careful with that.”

Bob browsed on his cell phone and took a sip on his coffee too. Jamin observed him trying to understand this new sensation. _Uncertainty._

“Do you think…I should talk to Thorgy?” he asked very unsure of what he wanted to say.

“Girl, I don’t know. I don’t think Thorgy is even aware to be honest, but I’m sure he is sending the wrong signals. As I told you once, he attracts a very specific kind of douchebags, that think it’s an adventure to hang out with someone kooky as Shane, just to try something different. I’m not saying Adam is like this, I’ve spent forty minutes with them, but he is clearly smitten at some level.”

Jamin didn’t answer and drank his coffee in a heavy silence. Bob stared him with dead eyes.

“God, you guys are really serious about this. I keep forgetting. You look as if I stole all your wigs and burned them, girl, fuck! Look Betty, I didn’t want to upset you I’m just calling what it is. Probably nothing is happening. Probably they are just being music nerds together and sharpening their instruments…”

“You stupid bitch!” Jamin burst into laugh and Bob followed grabbing his friend fore arms and shaking him.

“Come on! You’ve known Thorgy since he was an artsy twink and you were…well, old” Jamin pinched him. “Ouch! You have this long history and now it’s all a very gay fairy tale. You’re Acid Betty, who the fuck is Adam?” Bob reassured him and Jamin drank the rest of his coffee.

He wanted to know too.


	2. Chapter 2

The wanting comes in waves.

Shane surely knew that. And his waves would break on the shore constantly, the water pouring in many directions, opening new paths on the unseen ground. Since he began understanding the rules of attraction he could feel this sexual energy flowing and not concerning with direction. Girls, boys and unidentified creatures of the night. He wanted to kiss and touch them everywhere. Shane was curious not only by nature, but led by it.

Human nature for him is an endless source of new experiences.

And then there was Jamin.

The new experiment was there under layers of second and third skin. Acid Betty he could identify. But not Jamin. Shane claimed him, marked and traced every inch of his body, and still, a mystery.

He has a magical timbre that makes his too many thoughts reach to an agreement. He smiles showing full teeth the way Shane always wanted to do. Jamin creates the most beautiful and delicate things with his bare hands and fucks him hard with the same crafty instruments. Jamin cries in almost every Disney movie and snores like he’s possessed by a demon while sleeping. Jamin has the most perfect ass that looks even better with teeth marks.

_He loves him._

He wishes he could tell him in that exact moment glancing at him across the room talking to Robbie. They were in Jane’s apartment in a small party. Jane was one of the “finalists” of the Thorchestra and they were having a boozed gathering after a week of rehearsals. A room full of musicians and drag queens could be very loud. Shane was spread almost falling asleep on the balcony couch, it was a hot night and he needed fresh air. And besides the weather, he smoked too much weed and drank too many beers. The apartment seemed too crowded.

There was this tension between Adam and Jamin. The name was carrying a strange energy, an invisible force splitting them apart. Shane knew there was something bothering Jamin about Adam but couldn’t quite put his finger on it. He was spending a lot of time with him and maybe he was jealous, but too proud to say. Maybe it was just his mind going to all places as usual. Jamin never broke a sweat to show any indication besides sounding disinterested.

_His and still a mystery_

Shane wanted to shake him by the shoulders when he got too quiet. But the words never come out. Adam was young and flirtatious. He had that snob quality of someone that was over talented, but too charismatic for people to hate. Shane just couldn’t see someone like Adama being attracted to him.Shane was a concept to his previews boyfriends. A nice idea that was a disaster out of the paper.

That night he was tired of being in his head and too damn high.

Jamin’s eyes crossed with his and he raised his brows in acknowledge touching Robbie’s elbow. That was the signal that they would join him in the couch.

As they were approaching Shane noticed that Jamin was drinking, and was slightly tipsy. He sat on the armchair on the other side and Robbie next to Shane. His body reacted to the breeze of Jamin’s perfume passing by and dissipating in seconds. He wanted to straddle him in that armchair.

“Girl, you seem done for tonight”, Robbie noticed taking a sip on his drink, the long red nails touching gently the straw.

Jamin kept looking at him in silence. He was drunk, the green eyes languid and lit by the yellow light coming from the living room, lips part open. Shane was staring at him not caring if their own secret world was too obvious for Robbie. Their friend was distracted browsing his phone.

“So I’ve finally met your precious and amazing Adam!” Jamin scoffed out and Shane that was asleep seemed awake, as if an electrical current suddenly ran through his veins.

Robbie didn’t catch the irony in his voice and went along excitedly.

“Oh my god, Thorgy! He is amazing! He is like your soulmate? This is like a match made in heaven. Tell me you’re getting married and can I be the bridesmaid?” he blabbed fast grabbing Shane’s knee.

Jamin seemed indifferent but Shane could see through his facade. Jamin was hurt but he needed to go with it.

“You’re crazy, bitch. He is just a kid. I’m like his Mr Miagi or something”

“More like Mrs. Robinson. Girl, are you not seeing this? Betty can you help me here?” Robbie waved inviting him to the couch to make the situation even more tense.

Jamin kept looking at Shane as if he would find the answer somehow hidden in the back of his mind.

“He definitely wants to fuck you” he replied sounding a bit too dark.

“And  _to marry_ you after. And have baby violins together” Robbie added it and Shane kept exchanging glances between Robbie and Jamin.

He was extremely high and confused with the situation. Seeing Jamin only made him compute how he wanted to have his mouth wrapped around his dick in that moment and not talking about Adam. But there were the gigs and the planes and lots of glitter on the way. It was his new habit: cursing the sky every time he would see a plane.

Adam showed up in the balcony, a cigarette in hand, a beer in the other stumbling his way to the couch. He was short, had a thick beard and was wearing this checked t-shirt with suspenders. He was a classically handsome man trying too hard to look like a hipster.

He placed himself awfully close to Shane offering his cigarette not even asking if he wanted, just putting it in his mouth. Shane took a deep puff, their fingers brushing. It looked extremely intimate although they haven’t done it before.

“Do you want one?” he asked smoking back the cigarette and Shane noticed how Adam licked the tip first.

Robbie was looking at the scene holding a smirk and Jamin looked like he was going to feel sick.

“No, I’m good…” he answered shifting position on the couch making more room between them. And he closed his eyes. The world was spinning.

Jamin noticed how Adam kept staring at Shane’s neck as a vampire ready to attack the prey.

Adam finally realized their presence.

“I still can’t fucking believe Robbie Turner and Acid Betty are on Jane’s couch” he said taking a puff.

“Aww stop, you’re cute. You guys are putting together a great show” Robbie said pinching Jamin’s leg and picking up his drink off the coffee table. It was their cue to leave them alone.

Jamin that was short of words during the whole thing just stood up and Shane looked up at him confused, mentally asking what the hell he was doing.

“Jane told us a few minutes ago you guys are having a piano session and people are already gathering around, so me and Betty are going to find a nice spot” Robbie justified their sudden urge to leave and Adam was holding a smirk.

Jamin followed Robbie without looking back. Shane kept staring at him trying to find an explanation for his despise. He even got sober feeling the blood boiling. Adam kept looking at him.

“Are you okay, you seem a little bit startled?” Adam asked him brushing one of his dreads off his shoulder and Shane shook his head.

“I’m feeling in-credible!” he answered smiling but his eyes were watery. Adam got closer him, Shane could feel his breathing next to his cheek, “Adam…look, I know what you’re doing…and I think we should stop” he said giggling and still shaking his head avoiding his eyes.

“I’m not doing anything…” he whispered kissing Shane’s neck and he moved further.

“You’re a kid. And I’m your maestro. This is as cliché as it gets.”

Shane sat erect on the couch trying to put together his thoughts and picked up a beer that was sitting there. Jamin’s beer. He tasted his saliva and savored as if was the last drop of water.

“I’ve noticed you have someone. But I’m not looking for anything serious, Thorgy. We can still have fun…come on…” he grabbed his thigh and Shane chuckled.

“You remind me of me at your age”, he responded looking at him in a nostalgic way, “I had my share of sleeping with musicians, and as time went by the only hickeys I’ve got on my neck were caused by violin practice…”

He stood up and offered a hand for Adam that seemed like a kid which’s favorite toy was taken away.

“Come on! I have a jam session to pull off and I’m high as fuck!” Shane called him offering a hand.

Adam stood up and they showed up in the room. Shane could feel people’s eyes on them. There were no curtains in the balcony. He couldn’t find Jamin or Robbie.

“We have a very special guest playing the piano today!” Jane announced in the middle of the circle in the living room. Shane finally noticed that she was talking about him and people made room for him to meet her by the piano.

He sat on the piano bench and Jane sat by his side. People were looking at them in anticipation, Shane feeling their stage fuel giving him strength to continue.

“Let me just say in advance that I’m not a pianist and I’m gonna fuck up many notes, but we are all drunk here so  _woooo_!”

Everybody clapped and Shane glanced around to see if he could find Jamin again.  _No sign of him._

The room was slowly getting quiet. Shane’s head engines working furiously. He wondered if this was going to be his last night with Jamin. He no longer was listening to his song and the silence was scary.

He started the first notes of Fiona Apple’s redemption of “ _Why try to change me now?_ _”_ and his concerns were muffled by Jane’s voice. He closed his eyes imagining that Jamin was in the room somewhere. Listening to him the best way he was able to communicate. Jane’s voice was soft and still husky, she sounded a lot like Fiona. That voice quality that translates life: rough and gentle. Another gifted musician. The room was in deep silence and Shane didn’t want to open his eyes.

When he practiced the song with Jane during the week he didn’t know it was an omen.

 _Why can’t I be more conventional?_  
People talk and they stare, so I try  
But that can’t be, ‘cause I can’t see  
My strange little world just go passing me by

_So, let people wonder, let 'em laugh, let 'em frown  
You know I’ll love you till the moon’s upside down  
Don’t you remember I was always your clown?  
_ _Why try to change me now?_

Barely she stopped singing people were applauding heartily. Shane woke up from his slumber hugged by Jane and other people circling him.

“Give it up for our maestro Thorgy Thor!” Jane was up clapping hands with a big smile.

Shane was surrounded by people but he could identify Robbie’s voice.

“That was beautiful, Thorgy, oh my god!’

Robbie’s face was there, his gasoline eyes looking at him.

“Where is Betty?” he asked trying not to sound too disappointed.

“She was here with me but I guess she was swallowed by the people. Elizabeth seems a little off today” he commented taking a sip on his drink, “She didn’t leave though! I’ve got her car keys so” he shrugged in a sassy way.

Shane kept looking around, smiling and hugging the people that would talk to him, giving each one a kiss on the cheek, but his mind was far away.

*

He didn’t see Jamin the whole night after the balcony encounter with Adam. Shane decided to keep drinking with Robbie until he fell asleep on the couch. When he woke up the sun was almost rising. The black velvet night was fading away and pink shades were sketching the sky. Shane dragged his limbs to the living room. The piano seemed so lonely in the middle of it.

It seemed like he was the only one there. Jane was probably sleeping in her bedroom and didn’t notice the corpse lying on the couch. Jamin was mad but so was he. He wouldn’t do anything with Adam, but his complete lack of care about it pissed him off. Shane was so used to people giving up on him that he wondered when the strike would happen.

He sat on the piano bench and stared at the city vision from the opened doors of the balcony.

“I wanted a private session”

He heard Jamin’s voice behind him and he looked like a ghost. Wrapped in a white sheet. He sat by his side and Shane was still in disbelief, wondering when he would wake up.

“I felt sick after your performance. You know I can’t handle too much liquor” he kept talking since Shane didn’t even move.  “It was beautiful, Thorg. So beautiful…and  _strangely insightful_  it made my stomach swirl”

Shane finally broke the silence. His voice felt like coming from the depths of his soul.

“I…I want you to tell me. I want to hear the words from your mouth. I wanted to fucking punch you for leaving me there with Adam and-”

Jamin interrupted him.

“Shane, what the hell are we supposed to do? You want me to say that I’m jealous of Adam? I am jealous of fucking Adam. I am jealous of everyone that lay their eyes on you. Is this what you want? This is how we live now. What are we supposed to do? We can’t tell anyone, we can’t barely be together without rushing to pack and run to the airport. Everyone wants a piece of you. I have men and women offering their genitals on a daily basis for me. And still the only body I want is yours. I want your cock. And your dreads. And your laughter. And your endless rambling. And your… _talent_ ”

And then he played some piano notes and Shane laughed. He let go an exasperated sigh and shook his head.

“You’re the biggest asshole I’ve met in my life. I don’t know what I’m doing, these last months seem surreal and nothing makes sense… _but I love you_ ” he smiled and shrugged grabbing his hand and Jamin squeezed back. Jamin leaned to kiss him and Shane was eager to respond taking off his blanket and grabbing the collar of his t-shirt.

“Where did you get this blanket?” Shane asked giggling and kissing him at the same time, both standing up and Shane’s hand was still clenching Jamin’s shirt.

“I gave Robbie a ride to the hotel and Jane offered the guest room for me to take a nap” he answered as Thorgy let go of his t-shirt to sit on the piano.

“Grandpa Betty” he teased him pulling him closer using one of his legs.

“Are we gonna reenact that piano scene from  _Pretty Woman_?” Jamin asked as Shane pulled his shirt off and he tried to remember the scene but failed.

“Are we?” Shane replied unsure smirking and reaching for Jamin’s jeans waistband.

Shane’s legs were as long as Julia Robert’s but after not finding a good position and being too tired for challenging sex adventures they gave up fucking on the piano and chose the couch. As Shane was on top of him, the sky was fully pink. He wondered if the world was going to end so he fastened his pace making Jamin grunt louder. People from downstairs would have breakfast with the sounds of him coming.

It all started in a couch and here they were in their beginning again.


End file.
